An example of correct 'meeting-in-the-middle' - Each person has already, in their lives, spent their own time thinking about what they want in relationships, and finding within their hearts and thoughts what aspects are troubling or comforting, to understand themselves. Then, they write all this down - LONG before ever trying to 'match' with someone! Now, when you meet them, you show them your own list of pre-existing self-reflection, and they show you yours. If you don't do that; instead you ask strangers what they want out of the blue, who might be on drugs, and they were TOLD to EXPECT a great time... then you have used Neural Linguistic Programming to quietly engineer their desires, so that they never find what they WOULD have wanted, of their OWN self.