Be honest:

Did you spend your teen years fantasizing about how much YOU would enjoy your Wedding/Honeymoon/Date/Marriage? That is the Hebbian Learning you practiced: "I want... I want... I want..." Rather, which girls were 14 years old, dreaming about "how I could listen to his feelings, to understand why he looked anxious when they said that to him..."? THAT would be someone who YEARNS to Relate to another Soul, the old Alchemy. If you weren't practicing that, you don't have it.