In case anyone is confused about the critical details in the concepts about Grandma Love and communicating judgements and assumptions:

While repeatedly saying "Yes, I want to meet/talk more...soon!" and "You're so great/smart/welcome/helpful" repeatedly (I did not include the frequent flattery-emails) she was *simultaneously* assuming that "Anthony is *angry* at me, when he said that he feels remorse for the delays... and *that* means Anthony is the sort of person who *insists* that I make him happy, like a slave... which is what I have been told I do a lot, by my friends. But, it's definitely Anthony being angry and demanding my obedience, so I *WONT* mention my 'malignant mis-representations' of him, until he asks gently in repeated emails..."

By being tin-gracious with lip-service, while assuming the worst about me, she hid those assumptions and judgements, which conveniently *prevented* her from 'hearing the other side', an essential component of Restorative Justice, Principled Negotiation, Imago Mirroring Technique, as well as Philosophical Debate and the Legal System. It comes standard that "if you are assuming that I am a criminal, then *you* need to be mature enough to say so, without declaring your assumptions true, and you do need to listen to the other side... at all."

Similarly, it was telling that her favorite new book spent the majority of pages on a cruel, aggressive/submissive, demanding and confusing, obsessive love-story! When I pointed-out the distorted 'love', she had no reply... until suddenly deciding that "I *feel* like Anthony is obsessive." Oops! Psych-major, please: "I *assume* Anthony is obsessive!" Your assumption that I am a threat is NOT a feeling; it's a judgement. Specifically, a negative judgement about my character and motivations, which you framed as a 'feeling' (*that* is ick...). You did not want to hear what I had to say in response to that accusation, so I didn't mention it. :) Yet, for posterity:

Aris, I kept telling you to journal and spent time in self-reflection, so that you DON'T keep granting your Will to those who *demand* their pleasure of you! I have no intention of bothering you with relationship-stories from my old world; you have only to say "stop talking about my personal life" and I agree - just as I proved my willingness to not contact you via other channels (weirdly, you made that request... *after* you insisted I use facebook for our conversation that began with Akash, and I had *first* requested that we *not* move to an additional media? it was ironic, at least...)

As a result, NO, I don't want to bother you! And so, I didn't, for nearly two years... just as you hoped! Which also left me *regretting* that you would be the only one to have seen those poems. I *don't* have an obsessive urge to bother you, who are constantly assuming I am an 'angry, demanding, obsessive' *while* you flatter me! I still hope that you spend time learning your boundaries, as well as using some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy on your agreeableness... (which you still fear calling neuroticism, despite 'the need to admit that' being the part that helps?)